Where is home?

Right now I am swallowing a big pill. See I am an American who was born in Kentucky and spent most of my life there until I was 16. I knew I was different from everyone else and that I would never fit in with Kentucky culture. Therefore, I went on exchange for a year in Lyon, France where I learnt French and expanded my horizon. Unfortunately, I had to come back to Ky for my final year in high school..and I suppose it was okay. I mean I am the type of person who will make the best of any situation.

I finally found my true home though. That was Montréal, Canada. I decided that I wanted to get out of the U.S. and this time Canada was far enough for me but still close enough to appease my parents. In Montréal I was in the same boat as every one else. They were dorks too! And since Montréal is a very progressive city, I told all my friends and coworkers that I am gay. I finally found the place where I can be myself and people will love me for whatever I am. On top of that I was thrilled to do my education in English at McGill University but still be in a French speaking city where I could maintain my level of French. This is the ideal place for me! The big buildings swallowing me up on the street, the cafés situated at every corner, the hustle and bustle of the cars and exhaust fumes and finally walking down the street where nobody knows who you are! That is what I wanted. The exact opposite of earing the cows moo in Ky and whenever you do something deviant everyone in the entire town finds out! I finally have my so longed for anonymity.

Well as I have an itch for travelling I decided to go on exchange again but this time to Vienna, Austria and that is where I am at right now. I will be going back to Ky in about 3 weeks.

My dilemma is that I don't have enough money to go back to Montréal to finish my final year of university. So I am forced to stay in Ky for another year, get a job, and live with mom and dad. God how I will hate being there. Again, I will make the best of it, but I feel like I am going to be supressed.

I learnt in my International Organisational Behaviour class about culture shock and resocialisation. What happens is when you go abroad you think it will be easy to go back to your own culture so you don't make an effort, but in reality, you have to be resocialised because you have changed as a person. This is exactly what is going to happen to me when I go back. Here I go to exquisite coffeehouses (Kaffeehäuser) and live the city life with wonderful Europeans. I warn everyone that I will be arrogant and grumpy for at least the first 3 months when I am back. I can't help but look down upon you for being monolingual, southern accented English speaking, fat Americans.

I applied for a job at American Airlines so I can travel for insanely cheap prices and go back to Canada often enough to keep me sane in an insane situation. I'll be going to Vancouver to visit the man of my dreams, Mikey, to Toronto to visit my best friend Lindsay, and to Montréal to visit the best friends I have ever had.

If you are searching for your home too let me know so I know I am not the only one who is displaced.